If you are dealing with a difficult ex amidst divorce, you may be wondering what you can do to smoothen things out. Since your ex-spouse is unlikely to suddenly become cooperative, you may need extra tools and intervention from a lawyer to get through this combative time. Sometimes an ex is troublesome because they are heartbroken and are acting out due to spite, anger, and revenge. They may make life harder for you during divorce as a way to punish you for leaving them.
Regardless of the intentions for why your ex is uncooperative, what is important is how you compose yourself. Eventually, your ex is only going to make life more stressful and costly for themselves. Spouses who are seeking a divorce from a difficult partner are encouraged to consider reaching out to friends and family, therapists, and legal professionals for support.
Depersonalize Your Divorce
Your divorce is, of course, a very personal situation. You do not have to take every action against you from your ex spouse personally. Your ex has their own reasons and feelings for their behavior, and you can’t control it. But what you can do is deflect their negativity and see it as their own pain instead of about you. If you hurt your spouse by divorcing them, then having some compassion may help.
However, just because your spouse doesn’t agree with the divorce doesn’t mean they can act how they want without repercussions. Sometimes, a lawyer may be needed to intervene and help mitigate the situation.
Reduce Your Availability
If your spouse is berating you constantly, then taking a step back may be a good idea. Make yourself less available for phone calls, texts, and emails. Reducing how often you communicate with your ex can minimize the challenges and outbursts you are dealing with. Be sure to not completely avoid your spouse, because this can also exacerbate the problem. Establishing boundaries is a key approach for any divorce process, and this is especially true in cases where your ex is being difficult.
Practice Patience and Empathy
Your divorce is probably not going to be finalized quickly, as most cases take at least several months or a year to complete. For your own sanity, you may need to practice patience and empathy with your soon-to-be ex spouse. By using empathy, it reduces the stress you have in your own body. If it feels right for you, imagine what your ex spouse is so upset about, and think about how you would feel in their shoes. Acknowledge what you have learned and then move forward.
Divorce isn’t easy, and most people are going to have to deal with their ex spouse for quite some time before divorce is finalized. If this sounds like a situation you or a loved one is going through, consider speaking with a lawyer, such as a divorce lawyer in Alameda County, CA at Attorney Bernie as early as possible.